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A global pandemic. Political unrest. Economic challenges. Disruptive new technologies. It is no doubt the past few years have been difficult. Add to this mix the built-in challenges of raising children, and it is no wonder why parents today are so stressed.

So how do we acknowledge and live in the world as it is and be the best parents we can be? The psychiatrist Gordon Livingston has some advice. His book Too Soon Old, Too Late Smart does not offer banal reassurances or shy away from the tragedies of life. He offers hopeful yet realistic advice rooted in experience and wisdom. Livingston writes, "it is a primary task of parents throughout their lives to convey to the young a sense of optimism. Whatever other obligations we have to our children, a conviction that we can achieve happiness amid the losses and uncertainties that life contains is the greatest gift that can pass from one generation to the next. Like all the values we wish to teach our children — honesty, commitment, empathy, respect, hard work — the supreme importance of hope is taught by example."

This advice reminds me of my happy and loving grandmothers. They survived the 1918 pandemic as children, came of age during the Great Depression, had children fight and die in World War II, and lived through the extreme social disruptions of the 1960s. But I would never have known this from my interactions with them. Despite the difficult times they lived through, they were able to do what Livingston suggests is best for children: selectively focus on the good and model optimism and joy.

Livingston's advice is not "don't worry, be happy." There is plenty to be concerned about in our modern world. But when parents model through their actions that life is also filled with joy and happiness they give their children a great gift. This gift is even more valuable when living in challenging times, as we are today.